.....from the Cat Files.....


Cybernut College(cont.)

SEMINARS FOR FEMALES (prepared and presented by males)

1. Are You Ready to Leave?: Definition of the Word YES

2. Appropriate Rhetorical Questions (formerly titled "Honey, Do I Look Fat?")

3. Elementary Map Reading

4. Crying and Law Enforcement

5. Advanced Math Seminar: Programming Your VCR

6. You CAN Go Shopping for Less than 4 Hours

7. Gaining Five Pounds vs. The End of the World: A Study in Contrast

8. The Seven-Outfit Week

9. PMS:It's YOUR Problem, Not Mine (Prev-"It's Happened Monthly Since, Puberty: Deal With it")

10. Driving I: Getting Past Automatic Transmission

11. Driving II: The Meaning of Blinking Red Lights

12. Driving III: Approximating a Constant Speed

13. Driving IV: Makeup and Driving: It's As Simple As Oil and Water

14. The Super Bowl: Not a Game: A Sacrament

15. Telephone Translations (formerly titled "Me Too Equals I Love You")

16. How to Earn Your Own Money

17. Gift-giving Fundamentals (formerly titled "Fabric Bad, Electronics Good")

18. Putting the Seat Down By Yourself: Potential Energy is on Your Side

19. Know When to Say When: The Limits of Makeup

20. Beyond "Clean and Dirty": The Nuances of Wearable Laundry

21. We Forget Birthdays, You Forget Sports Stats: LET'S LET IT DROP

22. MYOB: Proper Response to Other Couple's Public Arguments

23. Yes, You Can Pump Your Own Gas

24. Joys of the Remote Control: Reaping the Benefits of 50+ Channels

25. What Goes Around Comes Around: Why His Credit Card is Not a Toy

26. His Best Friend Can Be Yours Too

27. His Poker Games: Deal Yourself Out

28. Commitment Schmittment (formerly titled "Wedlock Schmedlock")

29. To Honor and Obey: Remembering the Small Print Above "I Do"

30. Why Your Mother Is Unwelcome In The House

31. Your Mate: Selfish Bastard, or Victimized Sensitive Man?

SEMINARS FOR MALES (prepared and presented by females)

1. Combatting Stupidity

2. You, Too, Can Do Housework

3. PMS: Learn When to Keep Your Mouth Shut

4. How to Fill an Ice Tray

5. We Do Not Want Sleazy Underthings for Christmas: Give us Money

6. Understanding the Female Response to Your Coming in Drunk at 4:00am

7. Wonderful Laundry Techniques (formerly titled "Don't Wash my Silks")

8. Parenting: No, It Doesn't End With Conception

9. Get a Life: Learn to Cook

10. How Not to Act Like a Jackass When You're Obviously Wrong

11. Spelling: Even You Can Get it Right

12. Understanding Your Financial Incompetence

13. You: The Weaker Sex

14. Reasons to Give Flowers

15. How to Stay Awake in Public

16. Why it is Unacceptable to Relieve Yourself Anywhere but the bathroom

17. Garbage: Getting it to the Curb

18. You Can Fall Asleep Without IT if You Really Try

19. The Morning Dilemma if IT's awake: Take a Shower

20. I'll Wear it if I Damn Well Please

21. How to Put the Toilet Lid Down (formerly titled "No, It's Not a Bidet")

22. "The Weekend" and "Sports" are Not Synonyms

23. Give Me a Break: Why We Know Your Excuses are Bullshit

24. How to Go Shopping with Your Mate and Not Get Lost

25. The Remote Control: Overcoming Your Dependency

26. Romanticism: Ideas Other Than Sex

27. Helpful Postural Hints for Couch Potatoes

28. Mother-in-Laws: They are People Too

29. Male Bonding: Leaving Your Friends at Home

30. You, Too, Can Be a Designated Driver

31. Seeing the True You (formerly titled "No, You Don't Look Like Mel Gibson When Naked")

32. Changing Your Underwear: It Really Works

33. The Attainable Goal: Omitting "tits" From Your Vocabulary

34. Fluffing the Blankets After Flatulating is Not Necessary

35. Techniques of Calling Home