.....from the Cat Files.....


CYBERNUT COMMUNITY COLLEGE FALL COURSES :

Evening Classes for Adults


SOCIAL SCIENCE DIVISION
1. Creative Suffering
2. Overcoming Peace of Mind
3. Dealing with post self-realization Depression
4. Guilt without Sex
5. The Primal Shrug
6. Ego Gratification through Violence
7. Molding Your Child's Behavior Through Guilt and Fear
8. You and Your Birthmark
9. Whine Your Way to Alienation
10. How to Ovecome Self-Doubt Through Pretense and Ostentation
BUSINESS ADMINISTRATION DIVISION
1. Money Can Make You Rich
2. Talking Good: How You Can Improve Speech and Get a Better Job
3. "I Made $100 in Real Estate"
4. Packaging and Selling Your Child (Parents' Guide to the Slave market)
5. Career Opportunities in Iran (Fortunes in Home-Brew Distributorships)
6. How to Profit From Your Own Body
7. Underachievers Guide to Very Small Business opportunity
8. Filler Phrases for Thesis Writers
9. Tax Shelters for the Indigent
10. Looter's Guide to American Cities.
FINE ARTS DIVISION
1. Self Actualization through Macrame
2. Needlecraft for Junkies
3. Cuticle Craft
4. Memorable Gifts for the Senile
5. How to Bonsai Your Pet
6. Creative Writing With Sticks
7. Body Painting for the Elderly
8. Tap Dance Your Way to Social Ridicule
9. Belly Dancing for the Obese
10. Nude Sketching (Clothing to class a requirement, though)
P.E., HEALTH & FITNESS DIVISION
1. Creative Tooth Decay
2. Exorcism and Acne
3. 100 Ways to Walk Your Dog
4. The Joys of Hypochondria
5. High Fiber Sex
6. Suicide and Your Health
7. Biofeedback and How to Stop
8. Skate Your Way to Regularity
9. Understanding Nudity
10. Optional Body Functions
HOME ECONOMICS DIVISION
1. How to Convert Your Family Room Into a Garage
2. Cultivate Viruses in Your Refrigerator
3. Oriental Cooking: 100 Ways to Wok Your Dog
4. Burglarproof Your home With Concrete
5. Basic Kitchen Taxidermy
6. Sinus Drainage at Home
7. 101 OTHER Uses for Your Vacuumn Cleaner
8. Repair and Maintainance of Your Virginity
9. What to Do With Your Conversation Pit
10. How to Convert a Wheelchair Into a Dunebuggy
SCIENCE AND MEDICINE DIVISION
1. Automotive Quantum Mechanics
2. Techtonic Plate Repair
3. Genetics: How to Be A Bastard
4. Racing Kilocycles Around a Sine Curve
5. Levitating the Impotent
6. Passing With Physics
7. How to Repair Your Kreb's Cycle
8. Half-Acid Solutions for Basic Problems
9. Artistic Arson With Phlogiston