He reached into his pocket and took out a biscuit for the dog.

A passer- by who'd seen everything remarked: "That's very tolerant of you after what he just did."

"Not really," came the reply. "I'm just finding out where his mouth is, so I can kick him in the nuts."

This parrot was very talkative, and was forever informing visitors as to what went on in the newlyweds' home.

One evening, after a very embarassing comment from the bird, the husband had enough and said to the parrot, "that's it! You will be covered up much earlier in the future, and if you take your cage cover off or embarass us again, you will be sent to the Zoo."

A couple days later the couple were preparing for a short trip, and as usual, the suitcase was too full to close.

So the husband said, "I'll get on top and jump up and down and you see if you can get it."

After a bit the wife said, "This is no good. I'll get on top and you see if you can get it."

This still did not work, and so the husband said, "Tell you what, let's both get on top and bounce up and down - that'll get it."

With this, the parrot pulled off the cage cover and said, "Zoo or no zoo, this I have got to see."