When middle management are together, they talk about tennis.

Top management discusses golf.

Conclusion...

The higher up you are in management, the smaller your balls. **********************************************************************

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom.

As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years.

Just cooperate with anything he wants.

If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it.

Our lives depend on it."

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice ass." **********************************************************************

Two friends die, one goes to Heaven the other goes to Hell.

The guy in Heaven feels bad and decides to check on his friend.

So he looks down and to his surprise the friend is sitting in a chair with a beer in one hand and a georgous blonde in the other.

All in a rage he goes to God and says, "Lord, it just isn't fair.

I was good and now in Heaven, and he was always bad, so he's in Hell, but he has all the luxuries.

What's up with this?"

GOD replied,

"Look a little closer son, the beer has a hole in the bottom and the blonde doesn't! **********************************************************************

A man was walking along the beach and found a bottle.

He looked around and didn't see anyone so he opened it.

A genie appeared and thanked the man for letting him out.

The genie said, "For your kindness I will grant you one wish, but only one."

The man thought for a minute and said, "I have always wanted to go to Hawaii but have never been able to because I'm afraid of flying and ships make me claustrophobic and ill.

So, I wish for a road to be built from here to Hawaii."

The genie thought for a few minutes and said, "No, I don't think I can do that. Just think of all the work involved with the pilings needed to hold up the highway and how deep they would have to be to reach the bottom of the ocean. Think of all the pavement that would be needed.

No, that is just too much to ask."

The man thought for a minute and then told the genie, "There is one other thing that I have always wanted.

I would like to be able to understand women. What makes them laugh and cry, why are they temperamental, why are they so difficult to get along with? Basically, what makes them tick?"

The genie considered for a few minutes and said, "So, do you want two lanes or four?"