(Proves my point..An Editor usually, but not always, must have an IQ equal to, but not exceeding LINT).

INCLUDE YOUR CHILDREN WHEN BAKING

SOMETHING WENT WRONG IN JET CRASH, EXPERT SAYS

POLICE BEGIN CAMPAIGN TO RUN DOWN JAYWALKERS

SAFETY EXPERTS SAY SCHOOL BUS PASSENGERS SHOULD BE BELTED

DRUNK GETS NINE MONTHS IN VIOLIN CASE

SURVIVOR OF SIAMESE TWINS JOINS PARENTS

IRAQI HEAD SEEKS ARMS

IS THERE A RING OF DEBRIS AROUND URANUS?

PROSTITUTES APPEAL TO POPE

PANDA MATING FAILS; VETERINARIAN TAKES OVER

BRITISH LEFT WAFFLES ON FALKLAND ISLANDS

LUNG CANCER IN WOMEN MUSHROOMS

EYE DROPS OFF SHELF

TEACHER STRIKES IDLE KIDS

CLINTON WINS ON BUDGET, BUT MORE LIES AHEAD

ENRAGED COW INJURES FARMER WITH AX

PLANE TOO CLOSE TO GROUND, CRASH PROBE TOLD

MINERS REFUSE TO WORK AFTER DEATH

JUVENILE COURT TO TRY SHOOTING DEFENDANT

STOLEN PAINTING FOUND BY TREE

TWO SISTERS REUNITED AFTER 18 YEARS IN CHECKOUT COUNTER

KILLER SENTENCED TO DIE FOR A SECOND TIME IN TEN YEARS

NEVER WITHHOLD HERPES INFECTION FROM LOVED ONE

WAR DIMS HOPE FOR PEACE

IF STRIKE ISN'T SETTLED QUICKLY, IT MAY LAST A WHILE

COLD WAVE LINKED TO TEMPERATURES

DEER KILL 17,000

ENFIELDS COUPLE SLAIN; POLICE SUSPECT HOMICIDE

RED TAPE HOLDS UP NEW BRIDGE

TYPHOON RIPS THROUGH CEMETERY; HUNDREDS DEAD

MAN STRUCK BY LIGHTNING FACES BATTERY CHARGE

NEW STUDY OF OBESITY LOOKS FOR LARGER TEST GROUP

ASTRONAUT TAKES BLAME FOR GAS IN SPACECRAFT

KIDS MAKE NUTRITIOUS SNACKS

CHEF THROWS HIS HEART INTO HELPING FEED NEEDY

ARSON SUSPECT HELD IN MASSACHUSETTS FIRE

BAN ON SOLICITING DEAD IN TROTWOOD

LOCAL HIGH SCHOOL DROPOUTS CUT IN HALF

NEW VACCINE MAY CONTAIN RABIES

*************************************************************************** Gates vs. Ford

Bill Gates wanted to look good and impress everyone with his success.

He decided to measure the accomplishments of Microsoft against Ford Motor Corp.

The comparison went like this:

GATES:

If automotive technology had kept pace with computer technology over the past few decades, you could now be driving a V-32 instead of a V-8, and it would have a top speed of 10,000 miles per hour. (160,000km/hr).

--Or you could have an economy car that weighs 30 pounds (14 kilos) and gets a thousand miles to a gallon of gas. In either case the sticker price of a new car would be less than $50.

In response to all this goading, Ford responds:

"Yes, but would you really want to drive a car that crashes four times a day?"

*************************************************************************** *Oxymorons*

Act naturally

Found missing

Resident alien

Advanced BASIC

Genuine imitation

Airline food

Good grief

Same difference

Almost exactly

Government organization

Sanitary landfill

Alone together

Legally drunk

British fashion

Small crowd

Business ethics

Soft rock

Butt head

Military intelligence

Software documentation

New classic

"Now, then ..."

Synthetic natural gas

Taped live

Clearly misunderstood

Peace force

Plastic glasses

Terribly pleased

Computer security

Political science

Tight slacks

Definite maybe

Pretty ugly

Twelve-ounce pound cake

Diet ice cream

Working vacation

Exact estimate

Religious tolerance

Microsoft Works