.....from the Cat Files.....

A Few Jewish Jokes
A Priest and a Rabbi, who have been the best of friends for years, were always arguing the finer points of their respective theologies, trying to prove the other one was wrong.
One day they were riding in a car, they got cut off by a drunk driver. The car flew off the road, rolled five times end-over end, and came to rest on it's roof. The Priest and Rabbi crawled from the wreckage and were amazed they were alive.
As the Priest crossed himself, he noticed the Rabbi doing the same.The Priest shouts "Praise Be! You've seen the Light!"
"What?" said the Rabbi.
"You-you've crossed yourself. You have seen the True Way! This is wonderful."
"Cross myself?!? No no no.
I was just checking everything was OK.
"'Spectacles, Testicles, Wallet and Watch.'"
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A guy goes into confession and says to the priest, "Father, I'm 80 years old, married, have four kids and 11 grandchildren, and last night I had an affair and I made love to two 18 year old girls.
Both of them.
Twice."
The priest said: "Well, my son, when was the last time you were in confession?"
"Never Father, I'm Jewish."
"So then, why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling EVERYBODY, already."