9) It's celebrity spokesman is O.J. Simpson.

8) In order to start, you need jumper cables to your car.

7) It's slogan is "Pentium: redefining mathematics".

6) The "quick reference" manual is 120 pages long.

5) Whenever you turn it on, the dogs in your neighborhood start howling.

4) The open screen displays the message, "DANGER...DO NOT....."

3) The manual contains one sentence: "Good Luck!"

2) The only chip inside is a Dorito.

1) You've decided that your computer is an excellent addition to your fabulous paperweight collection.