"Hi, I'm here to give you super sex"

"Ummmm, no thanks, I think I'll have the soup"

Patient: "Well, give me the bad news first."

Doctor: "You have cancer, I estimate that you have about two years left."

Patient: "OH NO! That's awful! In two years my life will be over! What kind of good news could you probably tell me, after this???"

Doctor: "You also have Alzheimer's. In about three months you are going to forget everything I told you."

Yes, says the Doctor I would advise you to take in a boarder.

A year later at his 80th year check-up, the Doctor asks how everything is going.

He says fine... his wife is pregnant.

The Doctor remarks, so you took my advise and took in a boarder ?

Yes I did, and she's pregnant too.....

Before being allowed to do so legally, the Family Court insisted they undergo some counselling from the marriage guidance mob, to see if their union could be saved.

The counsellor did her best, but to no avail.

The old folk were absolutely *determined* to go through with separation leading to divorce.

Finally, in some desperation, the counsellor said: "But you're 95 and your wife is 93. You've been married for 72 years! Why do you want to separate now??"

To which the wife replied: "We haven't been able to stand each other for the last 46 years. But we thought we should wait until all the children died before we split up.